30 Things I Have Learned in 30 Years
Honestly, I dreaded this day for quite some time. For some reason turning 30 seemed so daunting. Now that my 30th has arrived I’m actually really excited about the next decade of my life. My 20s were great, but there were a lot of lessons that I have learned in the past 30 years! Some were easy and some I had to learn the hard way. Everyone is different and everyone has their own journey and story. Here are 30 things that I have picked up along the way that will make the next decade of my life a little better! I hope these lessons will encourage and inspire you along your journey as well!! Happy Birthday to me!! Cheers!!
Following Jesus was the best decision I ever made: He is real.
Family is the most important thing: Call them, see them and forgive them more. No one is perfect, but as you grow older you realize that they are human too and deserve grace. Love them and call them often. You may not always have the chance.
We are never promised tomorrow: Do it today, right now. Don’t wait. This life is precious and we only get one. Be thankful for everyday and remember that we are not promised tomorrow.
JUST. LET. GO: I know they hurt you, I know that the hurt may be deep, I know that letting it go may feel like they “got away with it”, trust me…. Holding on to it hurts you more than it hurts them. Forgive, grieve and move on. Let go…. Let God.
Don’t harbor bitterness: Unresolved bitterness is like drinking poison expecting it to kill someone else… you only poison yourself.
Don’t fight change: Change happens, everyday, all the time. I personally hate change. I thrive on schedules, consistency and rhythm. However, without change there is no progress, no growth. Without change you become stuck… embrace the change.
Trust your GUT: That inner voice, that inner feeling…. Trust it. There is always a reason you feel the way you do… explore it and figure out why.
Take care of your mind: Go talk to someone. Therapy and counseling are incredibly underrated! It’s one of the best things you can do for your mind. If your mind is healthy your body can start to be healthy.
Not everyone is going to like you: You are not ice cream. This one I’m still working on. Truthfully, I want to be liked, I am a people pleaser… It honestly keeps me up at night if I think someone is mad at me or if I have hurt someone. Knowing someone doesn’t like me makes me crazy… I’m learning to let it go. I’m not everyones cup of coffee… and that’s ok!
If a guy likes you, you will absolutely know. If you can’t tell, walk away with your head held high, your person is still out there. If he is not sure, do not wait for him to figure it out. The right person for you will know and if he’s not that into you, waiting will not make it better. This one was a tough one to learn.
Dance it out: This one I stole from Greys Anatomy. In all seriousness when I feel overwhelmed or just a little blue, I turn on some of my favorite jams and just dance for the entire song. I feel so much better after, especially when I do not want to! Get up and dance it out!!
Check on your friends: As much as you want people to check on you, so do other people. Check on the people you care about. Ask them how they are doing and really listen. We are all fighting battles that no one knows about; offer your sword and help carry their load for awhile. But also know, that it is their fight… you may help your neighbor chop up the tree that fell in their yard but at the end of the day you go home to YOUR HOUSE. Help your friends carry the load, but do not take it with you.
Do not change who you are to be with anyone: That include friends or a relationship. Check back soon for a blog post about this one!
The people in your life are there because they want to be: Stop questioning it and just be super grateful for the village you have.
Let go of the people in your life who do not make you a better person: Some friendships suck the life out of us. If it is sucking you completely dry, revaluate how to communicate with this friend. It is ok to be there for your people, just make sure those people are also there for you.
Learn to say NO: Hopefully I am better at this in my 30s than I was in my 20s. It’s honestly good for your mental health to say no to things.
You cannot please everyone: I could walk away and mic drop it right here. Stop trying, stop striving. Be you. “Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.” Thanks Dr. Suess.
Speak kinder to yourself: There is a lot of judgment and hate out there. Do not be the cause of the lies that you believe. Practice speaking kindly to yourself and notice the thoughts that are not edifying you.
Love your body: It was hard for me to watch my body change when I was pregnant, but once I truly understood how amazing our bodies are I started treating it better. Move it, feed it, take care of the skin you are in.
Working out is more than just what you see on your scale: Stop judging the number on the scale or your pant size. Pant size is different in every store and shouldn’t make you cry if you need to go up one (speaking from the experience of crying by myself in a Target dressing room). Seriously, be kinder to yourself and recognize progress NOT perfection. Working out should be for your mental health, physical health, energy and to pretty much make you FEEL better. Keep your body moving.
EAT THE ICE CREAM: Seriously, life is too short and too precious to constantly be limiting every single bite you take. Everything in moderation. Have some ice cream girl, drink some wine!
BE KIND: You’ll never regret showing kindness. Ever.
You don’t know their story: It is easy to judge people. We do it everyday, intentionally and unintentionally. When you do, try and catch those judgments and remember everyone is fighting a battle that you may never see. Before you judge them, think about their story, their journey, and their battle. Maybe show kindness and grace and save your judgments.
Learn to listen: Instead of listening with the intent of responding, listen with the intent of actually hearing what they are saying. It changes the way you hear things.
Choose Wisely: You get to choose every day. Make sure you choose people who are choosing you back. You become like the people you spend the most time with. If you don’t like who you are becoming… take a look at your circle, it may be time for a change.
Stop being afraid to feel things: I avoid feeling at all cost… this is UNHEALTHY. We are designed to have emotions. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is “Jesus Wept” (John 11:35) Even when He knew the outcome, He still took time to grieve. We were designed to be able to let out our emotions. That is why it sometimes feels cathartic to have a good cry! Let the emotion out and do not be afraid to feel. Stuffing them only works for so long before you explode. That dam can only last so long girl… let that river flow, and grab an inner tube!
YOU DON’T HAVE TO AGREE WITH SOMEONE TO LOVE THEM: Stop being rude to people. Just because you don’t think the same way, look the same way, dress the same way or (and let me duck before I say this) vote the same way… does not give you the right to be hateful. Surround yourself with people who are different than you. It is good to be challenged and appreciated for your differences. Otherwise how boring would the world be if we were all the same!! Quit being rude. Love is much better. "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” -MLK
Learn to Rest: It is so awesome that you are involved in so much, but you also need to take care of your body and your mind. There is a reason that God (the creator of the universe) RESTED on the 7th day. Take a break.
Stop comparing yourself to others: Yes, she is beautiful, yes they make more money than you, Yes their kids are VERY well behaved, Yes she already is booking gigs, yes they have a blog too, yes she can SANG, yes he’s an incredible cook, yes she is an amazing mom, yes she’s a killer boss, yes he has an amazing job…. And so do you. Someone else is looking at things in your life and saying… wow I wish. Learn to be grateful for the things in your life. You have unique talents and capabilities, you have have you own magic. Find your magic and stop disappearing behind other people’s successes. You are not them… you are YOU. Cheer the loudest for your peers and find what makes you happy.
Life is short: Order the cookie, dance it out, live in the present, sing in the shower, roll down your windows on a summer day, go outside, hug your kiddos, call your parents, eat lots of guacamole, make a margarita, pray often, cry it out, and tell them that you love them. That’s it! That’s all.
XOXO, KB
