The Girls Room - Room Sharing!
Easily one of my most asked questions. When we bought our first house we were so excited to create a guest room. Peters family lives in Michigan and I have multiple friends and family that live out of state so creating a place for them to stay was at the top of our priority list! I had a blast creating a hide away for our friends and family, but more on that later. When I found out that I was pregnant with our second child, Shaylee, the first question we tossed around was, what is going to happen to our guest room? It was so important to us that we kept that room for our family and friends who needed it. So that left moving to a bigger house (not an option 😂) or taking the plunge to put the girls in the same room. Just to be clear, Ellie’s room wasn’t huge, so I even tossed around the idea of giving the girls the bigger room. When we moved into our old house there was a painted giraffe on the wall that I fell in love with. It was adorable. Seriously. My incredible mother spend hours and hour painstakingly outlining the giraffe in the new paint color so that I could keep that sweet painting in the nursery. The thought of moving them out of that room made me too sad.
So… Room sharing it is. Not just any room sharing, room sharing with girls that are 18 months apart.
“I must be crazy.” I thought as I set up the nursery with two cribs. Two cribs!! How on earth was this going to work? I went back and forth on this for a while. My incredible and supportive husband assured me that it will work out and to trust him. So, I did. I think one of my biggest fears is that it would impact Ellie negatively. I assure you, it’s quite the opposite.
When we got to the new house I asked Ellie what her favorite part of her new room was, she said, “Shay Shay is here with me! It’s so cute in here!”
Kids are resilient. Give them a little more credit.
I do not pretend to have the perfect formula, nor did we do everything perfect the first time. This came with a lot of trial and error. I will just share the tips and tricks that we used to make this transition easier!
We talked it up with Ellie before hand. We set up Shaylee’s crib in the nursery before Shay was born. I talked about it a lot, “That’s your baby sisters bed, that’s where Shay will sleep ect.” I think it was important for Ellie that it wasn’t a surprise when Shay moved into her space. After all it was ‘their’ space now.
We kept Shay in our room for the first couple months. We set up a bassinet in our bedroom, it was just easier for us that way. Shaylee also had bad acid reflux and didn’t sleep very well for a while, so it just made sense to have her next to me.
For Shaylee’s first year we kept the cribs on opposite sides of the room to create space. There was more space if one of them was crying. I personalized the decor above their cribs to make it feel like they had their own space. Whether that actually helped, who knows. I do think it gave Ellie a little more stability knowing which side was hers. She loved seeing her name above her crib.
I used two sound machines. Maybe overkill? I’m honestly not sure, but for us it worked like a charm. I had both of the machines on white noise. They actually weren’t on high but I think having a sound machines next to both of them made them sleep better and drown out some of the extra sleeping noise and movement.
Just Do It. I probably could have put Shaylee in there sooner and Peter kept encouraging me to try it. Our compromise was I starting putting the pack and play in the guest room for a week. Once that started having success I slowly starting moving her into her own crib for her morning nap time. One night I wasn’t feeling well and Peter was on monitor duty, he decided he wanted to rip the bandaid off and let them sleep through the night in the same room! Since I was taking NyQuil I said, “I mean, you can try it…” slightly giggling because I would be out cold once that cold medicine hit. Well what do you know, it worked beautifully. Which brings me to my next point.
KIDS ARE RESILIENT. For real though. I spent so much time worrying and over planning and they just rolled with it. Here is the thing you need to be prepared for. They will wake up. Shaylee wakes Ellie up all the time. However, she goes back to sleep. Honestly they wake each other up, I always get worried and anxious and they 99% of the time go back to sleep on their own. I was so worried that getting Shaylee up for her last middle of the night feed would wake Ellie up and sometimes it did, but she always went back to sleep. As long as you just keep acting like this is normal, so will they. It is super cute when they start “talking” to each other before they fall asleep. ❤️
For us, routine was and is important. One thing that actually really helped at night is when we put the girls to bed we put them down at separate times. I created a schedule that would work for our family. The biggest change is I let Ellie stay up later with mom and dad. I fed them at 5:30-6, let them do one last thing before bedtime routine and I would put Shaylee down for the night at 7. Ellie then gets to “stay up later” because she is the “big” sister. She thinks its the best. Bonus: you get time with the older sibling by themselves. It has become a sweet time with the three of us most nights. (you know I am still human and there are nights where we fight with her to want to go to bed 😂😂)
Let your older child be a “helper”. Whenever I put Shaylee down I involve Ellie. I tell her that I “need” her help. She finds her blanket and paci, she sings to her and gives her a kiss and turns off the lights. It’s the cutest thing. It also give her a sense of responsibility. Involving her in the process helps prepare he mind for bedtime and prepares her to sleep in the same room as her sister, to “watch” over her.
It will not be perfect. Seriously. There were nights I cried and said, “this was a mistake!” I assure you, its one of the best decisions we ever made. Even though we have one more room available in our new house we still have the girls sharing a room. They have each other and I love that. Maybe someday they will want separate rooms but for now I love the fact that Ellie checks to make sure Shay is sleeping before she goes to bed. Be patient with the process and realize that every kid is different. In our opinion, it’s totally worth it.
Lastly, be open to compromise. It may not play out the way you envisioned or it may take more time. This is one of those things that is different for everyone. I think we just got to a point where having a guest room was just that important to us. We didn’t want people visiting us to have to pay for a hotel in order to spend time with us or our kids. I love having people over and hosting people, so that became our focus. As long as your kids are taken care of and they feel loved and supported I say go for it!! I always check in with Ellie and ask how she likes having Shaylee in the same room, she always says she loves it. ❤️ Makes this mama so happy to see her take care of her little sister.
I hope this has helped with your decision! I am always up for questions or concerns!! If you have any questions send me a message on social media! Share this with other mamas who are on the fence about room sharing. I didn’t find a ton of helpful info out there when I was thinking about it!!
Praying for your week, feel free to drop a prayer request if you would like extra prayer!! I am so grateful for the community we are building. If you would like to be apart of a group of awesome women send me a message and I’ll include you in our Facebook group!!
XOXO, KB